When it comes to relationships, infidelity is one of the most painful realities you may ever face. If you’ve ever wondered why some men stray outside of their marriage or long-term relationship, the truth is rarely simple. Affairs don’t just happen in a vacuum—they usually stem from deep emotional needs, hidden insecurities, or unmet desires. And while not every man is unfaithful, there are certain personality types and behavioral patterns that make some men more likely to seek a mistress.
You might find yourself asking: What type of man actually goes looking for another woman while still in a relationship? The answer isn’t always about lust alone. For some, it’s about ego and power. For others, it’s about loneliness, adventure, or validation. Some men crave constant excitement, while others are trying to fill emotional voids they’ve never dealt with.
Understanding the types of men who are more likely to have mistresses can give you clarity, whether you’re navigating trust issues, healing from betrayal, or simply trying to understand human behavior better. By learning to spot these patterns, you can recognize red flags early on, protect your emotional well-being, and make more empowered decisions in your relationship.
This article explores seven common types of men who are most likely to have mistresses. Each section will help you see the psychological and emotional traits behind their choices. While not every man fits neatly into a single category, these insights can help you better understand the dynamics of infidelity and why it happens.
1. The Power-Driven Man
A man who is obsessed with power, status, and control is often the one who seeks a mistress to boost his ego. For him, having a mistress isn’t just about attraction—it’s about proving his dominance and reinforcing his self-image.
You’ll often find this man thriving in leadership positions, where he’s used to getting what he wants. In his mind, having a mistress becomes a symbol of his success, almost like an accessory that adds to his social reputation. He may not even care deeply about the woman he’s with—what excites him most is the secret thrill of having what others don’t.
This type of man tends to crave admiration. If he feels like his partner at home no longer places him on a pedestal, he may start looking elsewhere for validation. A mistress becomes the person who reminds him that he’s desirable, powerful, and still “in control.”
The danger here is that his affair is rarely about love. It’s more about conquest. He thrives on secrecy, attention, and the idea of juggling two lives. The more he gets away with, the more he feels unstoppable. Unfortunately, that arrogance often blinds him to the destruction he leaves behind.
2. The Bored Man
Boredom is one of the biggest driving forces behind infidelity. The man who falls into this category isn’t necessarily unhappy with his partner—he’s just restless. He craves novelty, adventure, and excitement, and when life starts to feel predictable, he looks for a mistress to bring back the thrill.
This man may love his family and still want to keep his home life intact. However, he separates his emotional world from his physical desires. In his mind, the affair isn’t about replacing his partner—it’s about adding something “extra” to his life. Unfortunately, he fails to see that what feels like harmless excitement is a betrayal that can shatter trust.
He’s the kind who thrives on adrenaline. When his relationship settles into routine, he starts to feel trapped. Instead of working through these feelings with his partner, he secretly chases after someone who can give him the spark he thinks he’s missing.
The mistress, in this case, often becomes the outlet for his fantasies and sense of adventure. She represents everything his stable relationship does not: unpredictability, freedom, and risk. But while he may convince himself that the affair is “harmless,” the reality is that it creates deep emotional wounds for the person he claims to love.
3. The Emotionally Neglected Man
Sometimes, affairs are born out of emotional hunger. The emotionally neglected man feels unseen, unheard, or unappreciated in his relationship. He may still love his partner, but if he constantly feels dismissed or taken for granted, he becomes vulnerable to the attention of another woman.
For this man, the mistress isn’t just a romantic fling—it’s a lifeline. She listens, supports, and makes him feel valued again. That validation becomes addictive, especially if he has been emotionally starved for years. He may not even plan to cheat, but when someone shows him the warmth he craves, he slips into an affair almost unconsciously.
This type of man often justifies his actions by blaming the lack of intimacy or connection at home. He convinces himself that he “deserves” affection because he isn’t receiving it elsewhere. While this reasoning doesn’t excuse betrayal, it does explain why he seeks fulfillment outside of his relationship.
Unlike the power-driven or bored man, the emotionally neglected man often forms a deeper attachment to his mistress. He isn’t just after physical intimacy—he’s searching for an emotional bond. In some cases, this type of affair can even lead to him leaving his primary relationship altogether.
4. The Narcissistic Man
If there’s one type of man almost destined to have a mistress, it’s the narcissist. This man thrives on admiration, attention, and constant validation. He doesn’t see relationships as partnerships—he sees them as mirrors reflecting back his self-worth.
The narcissistic man views a mistress as another source of supply. While his partner may see through his flaws, his mistress becomes the person who flatters him, boosts his ego, and feeds into his self-image. He craves being adored, and when that adoration fades at home, he immediately looks elsewhere to fill the gap.
What makes him dangerous is his ability to manipulate. He knows how to charm, persuade, and play mind games, making it easy to juggle two lives without remorse. To him, cheating isn’t necessarily a moral failing—it’s simply what he believes he deserves.
This type of man rarely feels genuine guilt. Instead, he twists the narrative to make himself the victim or convinces himself that his partner is at fault for “driving him away.” Because of this mindset, the narcissistic man often repeats his behavior over and over again, regardless of how many times he’s caught.
5. The Insecure Man
At first glance, you might think insecurity would make a man cling harder to his relationship. But for some, it does the opposite. An insecure man often seeks a mistress to prove his worth to himself. Having another woman’s attention makes him feel attractive, capable, and desirable—things he doesn’t fully believe about himself.
This type of man constantly compares himself to others. If he feels he’s failing in one area of life, he compensates by looking for validation through an affair. The mistress becomes a symbol of his ability to “win” someone over, even if he doubts himself deep down.
What makes the insecure man unique is that his affairs are less about dominance and more about reassurance. He doesn’t necessarily want to betray his partner—he just can’t resist the temporary confidence boost another woman gives him. Sadly, that short-term validation comes at the cost of long-term trust in his primary relationship.
The insecure man often struggles with guilt more than the narcissist or the power-driven type. However, instead of dealing with his feelings, he may keep repeating the same cycle—using affairs as a way to cope with his lack of self-esteem.
6. The Commitment-Phobic Man
Some men love the idea of romance but hate the responsibilities that come with it. The commitment-phobic man is one of them. He craves intimacy, but only on his terms. Once a relationship becomes serious, he starts to feel suffocated. A mistress then becomes his way of keeping emotional distance while still enjoying intimacy.
This man thrives on duality. He may play the role of a devoted partner at home, but in secret, he’s living a second life that gives him freedom. He wants the stability of a relationship but also the excitement of independence.
The mistress, for him, represents an escape. She becomes the “forbidden” thrill that helps him feel alive without fully breaking away from his main relationship. But the truth is, his inability to commit runs much deeper than just his love life—it often shows up in other areas, like work, friendships, or personal goals.
In the end, this man rarely gives his all to anyone. His mistress may eventually realize that she’s also just another temporary chapter, because true commitment is something he continually avoids.
7. The Opportunistic Man
Finally, there’s the opportunistic man—the one who cheats simply because he can. He doesn’t necessarily seek out a mistress, but when the chance arises, he takes it without hesitation. For him, infidelity isn’t about love, need, or even excitement—it’s about convenience.
This man lacks strong boundaries. If someone flirts with him, he sees it as an open invitation. He may tell himself that “it just happened” or “it didn’t mean anything,” but the truth is, he makes no effort to resist temptation.
The opportunistic man often underestimates the seriousness of his choices. In his mind, a casual affair doesn’t threaten his relationship, because he doesn’t see it as emotional. Unfortunately, what feels casual to him can deeply wound his partner, leaving behind lasting scars.
What makes this type particularly damaging is his unpredictability. Because he acts on impulse, you can never fully trust his loyalty. Unless he chooses to set strong boundaries and respect his relationship, he will likely repeat the same mistakes whenever the opportunity arises.
Conclusion
Understanding the types of men who are more likely to have mistresses can give you insight into the complexities of infidelity. While every affair is different, the common thread among these men is their inability—or unwillingness—to address their emotional needs in healthy ways. Instead of communicating with their partners, they seek escape, validation, or thrill outside of the relationship.
If you’ve ever encountered one of these personality types, you know the emotional damage they can leave behind. Betrayal isn’t just about physical intimacy—it’s about broken trust, secrecy, and the painful realization that the person you loved wasn’t fully honest with you.
But here’s the important truth: their choices do not define your worth. If you’ve been betrayed, it says more about their shortcomings than it does about you. By recognizing these patterns, you can protect yourself, set boundaries, and demand the respect and commitment you deserve.
Healing after betrayal takes time, but it also brings strength. The more you understand why affairs happen, the better equipped you are to make empowered decisions about your future—whether that means rebuilding trust or walking away for good.
FAQs
1. Do all men who have mistresses fit into these categories?
Not necessarily. These seven types represent common patterns, but every individual is different. Some men may fit into multiple categories, while others may cheat for entirely different reasons.
2. Can a man love his partner and still have a mistress?
Yes, it’s possible. Many men who cheat still claim to love their partners, but love alone isn’t enough if they’re not addressing their emotional or personal issues.
3. Why do some men keep mistresses long-term instead of just having affairs?
For some men, a mistress offers more than physical attraction. She may provide emotional support, validation, or companionship that they feel is missing at home.
4. Can men who cheat ever change?
Yes, but change requires self-awareness, accountability, and a genuine willingness to grow. Without effort, many men fall back into the same patterns.
5. How can someone protect themselves from being hurt by infidelity?
While you can’t control another person’s actions, you can set strong boundaries, prioritize open communication, and pay attention to red flags. Trust your instincts, and don’t ignore behaviors that make you feel uneasy.
